The bad news is that a date cancelled on me tonight, but the good news is that my monthly cheese club delivery arrived. It’s like having a box of chocolates brought to the door just moments after being unceremoniously dumped. The pain might not go away, but it can certainly be suppressed by consuming an ungodly amount of calories. If I hadn’t had my earned leave scheduled for an hour after it showed up and an obligation to try to enjoy it dateless, I would have spent the evening eating my feelings in the form of a “Montery Jack Wild Morel & Leek”, a “Mona Lisa Very Old Gouda”, and a “Wisconsin Emmentaler Swiss.” Thankfully, I planned a back-up shopping date with a girlfriend at the last minute.
Against all odds, I met an attractive gentleman (well- his “gentleman” status is currently in question after his heartless cancellation tonight) at work last week. He came in with a friend, and because it was slow and around the closing hour, I had time to talk. I was immediately attracted to him. I feel like it’s so rare that I meet someone that I feel that way about in general, and with being on house arrest and unable to go out, it’s even more rare.
I never know how guys are going to react when I tell them that I’m on house arrest. I thought about casually bringing it up somewhere between the bread bowl and the appetizers, but the opportunity didn’t seem to present itself. Thankfully, he and his friend kept ordering drinks and got a pretty good buzz going.
Once they seemed adequately intoxicated, I decided it was time to find a subtle way to confess to having a criminal record and explain the tire of an ankle bracelet that was hidden beneath my work pants. Best to get the cards on the table. After I discovered that we had a mutual friend, it seemed less wildly inappropriate to inform customers that their waitress is a felon.
Amazingly, the news wasn’t a deal-breaker and we exchanged numbers. WINNING!!!
For the record, it’s possible that he is, in fact, still deserving of a “gentleman” status. He didn’t intentionally bail on me tonight. He got called out of town for work. Still sucks though. It’s very hard to make plans to go out while on house arrest. I have to plan everything a week in advance, and if someone’s availability changes, well, mine doesn’t.
At least I’m not in prison. There is that little ray of sunshine again. If I were trying to “date” in the big house, my options would be-er, more limited. Sure, some of us may have “kissed a girl and liked it” one time or another, but, let’s just say that when you’re living in incarceration, it’s not like you’re living at the Top Model house.
265 days to go.