Seven Year Itch

I just got home from work. I’ve settled into a routine of sitting at my computer while my ankle bracelet charges from a cord to the nearest outlet. Thank God that I have a job right now. I’ve thought about what it would be like to have to look for work in my current situation. There have been times when I’ve worried about getting enough shifts at the restaurant, and I’ve considered getting a second job… then I thought about what that would entail. I can only imagine the horror I would inspire in potential employers.

Criminal history? “Er… yes. Felon.”
Oh. Ahem. Charge? “Conspiracy. And possession. With intent to distribute…. um, hundreds of pounds of marijuana.”
Availability? “As long as my probation officer approves it, we’ll probably be okay!” (enter reassuring smile)

I‘ve thought that it would be nice to make some extra money this year and have enough saved at the end of it to be able to take a month off and go on a road trip. I got a message today from the casting director of a CBS dating show saying that I would “be great” to be on the show. Well. I have my doubts as to whether or not much research was done before that message was sent my way. I am seriously tempted to respond. Those shows pay some, if I’m not mistaken. A couple hundred bucks. Why not? Who knows? Maybe I’ll finally meet my Han Solo on some sordid reality TV set. I can’t help but envision the awkward situations that would ensue if I were to be on the show. I’m going to go ahead and file that possibility away in my “things might get strange enough to actually do it” folder, along with phone sex operation, (more professionally deemed “phone actress”). Man, my “acting” career could really pick up some steam this year!

Strangely, my acting career has had what could be considered a high point recently. I have a movie called “Chick Magnet” that is playing on Showtime right now. I’m the lead actress in it. “Chick Magnet” is… how would I describe it? My friend said it well the other day. He wrote on my Facebook wall saying, “I don’t usually like to use the term ‘Oscar snub’, but… well… you can decide for yourself.” I’m going to sign off on that description, and for anyone who watches it, you might appreciate why he said that.

For the record, none of the people in the cover photo are in the movie. Literally. I've never seen these people before in my life. Oh, marketing.

What is even stranger is that the movie was released to DVD on October 18th, when I was sitting in prison. April first was my seven year anniversary of living in LA. Ironic. April Fool’s Day. Seven years ago, when I moved here with dreams of hitting it big in acting, I think I would have expected to have a movie playing on Showtime. I would have expected to be a member of the Screen Actors Guild, which I am. I probably would not have expected to have recently been released from prison. Things don’t always work out the way that you think they will. Oddly enough, I’m happier right now than I have been for a lot of the time I’ve been in LA, and I’m more productive.

Tomorrow is my weekly earned leave. I plan to do something interesting with this one… I plan to get back to you with a full report.

225 days to go.

Chillin' like a felon

 

One thought on “Seven Year Itch

  1. I am watching this movie for the second time ever in the same week. Lmao it is pretty dang funny! “I never like to talk but seeing you, watching as you walk the way you do, my mind is like a clock that takes me through” haha awesome song awesome scene.

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