Date Night


It’s nice to be a part of a club that doesn’t require a background check.

The bad news is that a date cancelled on me tonight, but the good news is that my monthly cheese club delivery arrived.  It’s like having a box of chocolates brought to the door just moments after being unceremoniously dumped.  The pain might not go away, but it can certainly be suppressed by consuming an ungodly amount of calories.  If I hadn’t had my earned leave scheduled for an hour after it showed up and an obligation to try to enjoy it dateless, I would have spent the evening eating my feelings in the form of a “Montery Jack Wild Morel & Leek”, a “Mona Lisa Very Old Gouda”, and a “Wisconsin Emmentaler Swiss.”  Thankfully, I planned a back-up shopping date with a girlfriend at the last minute.

Against all odds, I met an attractive gentleman (well- his “gentleman” status is currently in question after his heartless cancellation tonight) at work last week.  He came in with a friend, and because it was slow and around the closing hour, I had time to talk.  I was immediately attracted to him.  I feel like it’s so rare that I meet someone that I feel that way about in general, and with being on house arrest and unable to go out, it’s even more rare.

I never know how guys are going to react when I tell them that I’m on house arrest.  I thought about casually bringing it up somewhere between the bread bowl and the appetizers, but the opportunity didn’t seem to present itself.  Thankfully, he and his friend kept ordering drinks and got a pretty good buzz going.

Once they seemed adequately intoxicated, I decided it was time to find a subtle way to confess to having a criminal record and explain the tire of an ankle bracelet that was hidden beneath my work pants.   Best to get the cards on the table.  After I discovered that we had a mutual friend, it seemed less wildly inappropriate to inform customers that their waitress is a felon.

Amazingly, the news wasn’t a deal-breaker and we exchanged numbers.  WINNING!!!

For the record, it’s possible that he is, in fact, still deserving of a “gentleman” status.  He didn’t intentionally bail on me tonight.  He got called out of town for work.  Still sucks though.  It’s very hard to make plans to go out while on house arrest.  I have to plan everything a week in advance, and if someone’s availability changes, well, mine doesn’t.

At least I’m not in prison.  There is that little ray of sunshine again.  If I were trying to “date” in the big house, my options would be-er, more limited.  Sure, some of us may have “kissed a girl and liked it” one time or another, but, let’s just say that when you’re living in incarceration, it’s not like you’re living at the Top Model house.

265 days  to go.

I found boots that fit under my ankle bracelet!!! Hooray!!!



10 thoughts on “Date Night

  1. It’s kind of like a merry-go-round. Each week you can try for the brass ring.
    Sometimes you miss it, sometimes it is a funky metal ring, and sometimes it is the coveted brass ring.
    However it goes, win-lose-draw, you have to wait for the next try when it comes around.
    Try the ocean. It’s pretty much always there for you.

  2. I came upon your blog this evening when I got home and my hubby googled your name after having heard you on the Bagged and Boarded podcast and I have to admit, I was immediately riveted with your story and your journey with that love little (not so little at all) black piece of shit on your ankle. I started at your first blog post and am up to current day now. Love your style of writing and honesty. Even though you’ve been through hell and back and still continue on your journey, I have faith that good things will come and much will be and has been learned.
    And to end this comment, I must say that you’re stunning, woman. And I love the heels with the bracelet. lol Gotta rock them, what what!!

    Looking forward to more. Putting you on my reading list.


  3. Hey there! I’ve been reading your web site for some time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Kingwood Tx! Just wanted to say keep up the excellent job!

  4. I was just placed on house arrest… Wondering, how did you make it? Paid bills etc. I am a single mom, no income and looking for ways to make money from home. Hope your case was resolved!


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