120 Hours

I have five days of house arrest left to go.  My ankle and I are scheduled to be released from captivity on Wednesday.  It won’t come a day too soon.  And not a day too late, either… hopefully.

I’d like to think I can hold on until then without sawing my foot off at the ankle and crawling to the border–  a bottle of cheap tequila in one hand and a bloody Swiss Army knife in my teeth, muttering about freedom as I drag my mangled body into Tijuana moments before I am seized by members of the Cartel.  Yes, I believe it’s best to wait.

I can honestly say, after everything, that I remain optimistic about life after house arrest.  This experience hasn’t ruined me.  I am also happy to report that it hasn’t made me fat OR a slave to chronic alcoholism either, though both scenarios seemed inescapable at the beginning of the year.  It appears that I’ve beaten the odds.  Thank God.  It will be one thing to come out of this year a felon, but the idea of re-entering the Free World as an obese, raging alcoholic felon would have really added insult to injury. One horrible turn of events at a time please, life.

I’ve been on the home confinement program for 360 days.  I’d be lying if I said that every one of those days was easy.  I want to thank everyone who has been there for me along the way, many of you who have kept up with me here, on my blog.  I could never put a price on what your support has meant to me.  But, if I had to put a price on what your support has meant to me, I’d say it’s somewhere in the pocket of five hundred dollars.  Maybe more.

I have managed to avoid leaning on destructive habits for passing the time this year.  Instead of allowing myself to sink into depravity (Though, how bad could it have really been?), I started this blog and let writing about my experience be my escape from it.  In the end, it truly has been my escape.  To those of you who have read and responded with support, I am sincerely grateful.

6 days to go.

13 thoughts on “120 Hours

  1. Will you continue to write about your experiences once you are off house arrest? I’d love to hear what it’s like re acclimating yourself into the “Free World”. Good luck on your last five days!

  2. i am expectant, hopeful, and looking forward to what post-house arrest life has for you. that book you’re going to publish someday, the people it’s going to introduce you to, oh, the places you will go my friend… i am truly saddened that i wasn’t able to make it to california in time for your release party but i am celebrating you from atlanta with great hope for your future!!! i love you!

  3. Hang in there. I just got off house arrest on Monday. Got a new vehicle and got mobile again. Gives you a new perspective on everything. All the little things people take for granted you appreciate. Your blog helped me to slog through a hellish period of my own life and is appreciated, thanks.

  4. felicitaciones por terminar una etapa dolorosa de tu vida, vas a comenzar otra, que sea muy buena contigo. Espero que todo lo que te ocurro te sirva para ser una buena persona y mujer.
    Que te valla muy bien en tu vida, sea buena actriz, una buena madre y esposa

  5. I am proud of you !!!!! I’m sure that it was not easy. Keep up the good work 🙂 Look forward to seeing you on screen :-)) xoxoxo

  6. In reflection, and thinking of your reflections, I found it interesting that while being restricted you may have really found your freedom. You were free to become a raging, angry drinker, sullen and morose and yet… you were also free not to do that. Sometimes God puts boundaries around us to refine us and guide us.
    Freedom to do, freedom not to do… discovery of trespasses for things we do, and trespasses for the things we fail to do….perhaps the meaning of life.
    In a couple days you’ll have more choices, but you’ve always had your freedom.
    Choose well your path. Don’t let these past 365 days prove to be a waste or something you just slogged through, prove they meant something in discovering more of who you were meant to be.

  7. I thought this post was hilarious! Of course it was also awesome how you thanked the people who kept you going for 360 (at the time) days but your imagery of crawling to the border without a foot, a bloddy Swiss Army knife which did the job and a bottle of cheap tequila was very vivid. I could literally see an old red Toyota pickup in the distance through the heat waves and blowing dust of the desert landscape of Baja California.

    I roared with laughter when I read the paragraph on your happiness of NOT succumbing to the nearly inescapable dilemma of becoming fat or an alcoholic, especially your thoughts on re-entering the “Free World” as an obese raging alcoholoc-felon, which clearly made you shudder!

    I wish I had found this blog much earlier. I found out about it from the show, “Who the (Bleep)…” and I am glad I did! Better late than never.

    Good luck on your endeavours in the “Free World”! I look forward to checking in and seeing what you’re up to…

  8. Hi. I just watched your story on the ID channel. What a crazy, scary story! I just wanted to say that I believe a lot of good will come to you out of all of the bad you had to live in. Good luck, stay strong, be yourself & God bless!

  9. Just an idea but maybe follow this up with the first 365 days after house arrest and 365 days before your house arrest. Kinda doing a full 360 of the whole process. We all know life is constantly in flux but the three years would capture a time you probably are not going to forget and changed your life forever.

    take care

  10. I am about to start 5 months of house arrest and your blog is very helpful!! I, like you, am just your average girl but I live in the Bay Area. I’ve been freaking out and nervous! I will be monitored where I go and for alcohol as well, so you’re kinda lucky you got to drink! Thank you for the help 🙂

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