Rolling Stone

There is a feature article about the circumstances that led to my arrest in the current issue of Rolling Stone Magazine.  The article focuses on the elusive, malicious figure who was at the helm of the entire seedy, smelly operation.  On the cover, it’s referred to as “The Pot Princess of Beverly Hills.” (Inside, it is dubbed “The Gangster Princess of Beverly Hills.”)

Being on house arrest, I was (of course) at home when the magazine hit the newsstands.  At least I’m not in prison – I am the only person in the case who is not in prison right now.  A friend I’ve known since childhood called me in the morning to tell me that she was coming to my apartment with Starbucks coffee and an issue of the new Rolling Stone.

“Cady was an aspiring actress fresh from the small town of Bremerton, Washington — a pretty, friendly and goofy oversharer.” -Rolling Stone Magazine (written by Sabrina Ruben Erdely)

I just re-read the article from front to back.  I think that the journalist, Sabrina Ruben Erdely, did a fantastic job.  The real-life story is so convoluted, and the people who lived within it did so under a veil of such secrecy and deception, that I’m sure it was not an easy puzzle for an outsider to make sense of.  Even now, I still look back and find so many elements to be incredible– and I existed in the eye of that storm for years.

It’s over now.

Yes, I have an ankle bracelet on for a year, and yes, I spent thirty days in federal prison—but, all of this was, ultimately, my exit route to safety.  I see that now.  Being arrested extricated me from something that I didn’t know how to escape from, and that could have easily ended my life, eventually.   It’s kind of amazing to think that on June 14, 2010, when I was confronted with an Mp5 sub-machine gun that was aimed at my face, that I was on my way to safety.

I feel like a piece of me died during that whole, horrific experience.  I remember, while in the throes of it, I had constant nightmares about being chased down by either Cartel members or federal officers with guns.  I was afraid to go to sleep some nights.  I suppose that one of those nightmarish scenarios may have been imminent, and the one that became a reality may have been something along the lines of Divine Intervention for me.

Maybe parts of us are meant to break off and die, at certain points in our lives.  I think now that perhaps the piece of me that I feel I lost in that fire was the part that made me susceptible to ever allowing myself to become a part of it in the first place.  If that’s true, then I say good riddance.  Life goes on.  It must.  If I let myself wallow in the heartache of the past, then I won’t be able to experience the joy that can be waiting for me in the future.

“Keep your face to the sun, and you will never see the shadows.”  -Helen Keller

87 days to go.

 

8 thoughts on “Rolling Stone

  1. thank you for putting this one up. I could not have put that better myself. Our fears and memories are very different, but I feel the same way as you. I lost part of myself when this began, but looking back now I see that it could have been so much worse. It feels good to think the will of the universe is that we face these things to become better people. Great Post Thank You
    Bruce

  2. You are far stronger than you realize Meili. Kudos to you for not only sharing your story and life with the Internet but also with a national editorial like Rolling Stone.

  3. Meili, I just want to start by saying I look forward to your blogs :) next, I’m so happy you have made the best out of this experience .. You are not the type that takes blessings for granted and I wish you the best in everything you do :)

  4. Once again I am moved by your story & your exprssive way of sharing the whole ordeal. I just started serving my time for my incident & have exactly 87 days (including today) until I am free of house arrest! You spin bad circumstance into something bright & shiny. Clear mind & open hearts…there is always hope for a better tomorrow! CHEERS

  5. I do feel for you, but I truly believe that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Thank you for sharing your life and your story with the world. May all your storms be weathered and all that’s good get better. Much love.
    Peace and Blessings.

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