House Arrest, Baby

I had a cute, little guest crawl down from Oregon to visit me this week. He brought his mama too—a close friend of mine since childhood. The one year-old was fascinated by my charging cord, and he took great joy in yanking it off of my ankle bracelet during court-mandated charging.

I videotaped his first encounter with the bracelet and cord…

77 days to go.

Rolling Stone

There is a feature article about the circumstances that led to my arrest in the current issue of Rolling Stone Magazine.  The article focuses on the elusive, malicious figure who was at the helm of the entire seedy, smelly operation.  On the cover, it’s referred to as “The Pot Princess of Beverly Hills.” (Inside, it is dubbed “The Gangster Princess of Beverly Hills.”)

Being on house arrest, I was (of course) at home when the magazine hit the newsstands.  At least I’m not in prison – I am the only person in the case who is not in prison right now.  A friend I’ve known since childhood called me in the morning to tell me that she was coming to my apartment with Starbucks coffee and an issue of the new Rolling Stone.

“Cady was an aspiring actress fresh from the small town of Bremerton, Washington — a pretty, friendly and goofy oversharer.” -Rolling Stone Magazine (written by Sabrina Ruben Erdely)

I just re-read the article from front to back.  I think that the journalist, Sabrina Ruben Erdely, did a fantastic job.  The real-life story is so convoluted, and the people who lived within it did so under a veil of such secrecy and deception, that I’m sure it was not an easy puzzle for an outsider to make sense of.  Even now, I still look back and find so many elements to be incredible– and I existed in the eye of that storm for years.

It’s over now.

Yes, I have an ankle bracelet on for a year, and yes, I spent thirty days in federal prison—but, all of this was, ultimately, my exit route to safety.  I see that now.  Being arrested extricated me from something that I didn’t know how to escape from, and that could have easily ended my life, eventually.   It’s kind of amazing to think that on June 14, 2010, when I was confronted with an Mp5 sub-machine gun that was aimed at my face, that I was on my way to safety.

I feel like a piece of me died during that whole, horrific experience.  I remember, while in the throes of it, I had constant nightmares about being chased down by either Cartel members or federal officers with guns.  I was afraid to go to sleep some nights.  I suppose that one of those nightmarish scenarios may have been imminent, and the one that became a reality may have been something along the lines of Divine Intervention for me.

Maybe parts of us are meant to break off and die, at certain points in our lives.  I think now that perhaps the piece of me that I feel I lost in that fire was the part that made me susceptible to ever allowing myself to become a part of it in the first place.  If that’s true, then I say good riddance.  Life goes on.  It must.  If I let myself wallow in the heartache of the past, then I won’t be able to experience the joy that can be waiting for me in the future.

“Keep your face to the sun, and you will never see the shadows.”  -Helen Keller

87 days to go.


Me, on House Arrest

I need a longer charging cord…

I’ve been on house arrest for almost nine months now.  I’ve spent the greater portion of my time alone.  Often, it takes a person a lifetime to find their “me.”  It didn’t take me very long to find the “me” in “Meili.”  It’s right at the beginning, before the first “i.”  So much for self-reflection.

The inevitability of a somewhat monotonous existence became a reality for me recently.  I’d imagine that this, to some degree, is unavoidable, given my circumstances.  I work five days a week, the same times.  I grocery shop once a week, same day every week.  I decided to mix it up a little.  It’s important to do that sometimes, especially if you’re on house arrest.

I had my groceries delivered from Vons online.  I woke up to a man at my door with everything that was on my grocery list.  I crawled out of bed, helped him carry everything into the kitchen, then went right back to sleep.  It’s nice to have a man that shows up and brings you everything that you’ve asked for.  I suspect that I’ll continue to order groceries like this even after the year is over.  Oh, the takeaways of house arrest.

I agreed to dog-sit for a friend of mine last week.  The dog, named Sawyer, left yesterday.  She was a cute little thing and often made for good company, but now my apartment smells like dog.  And she pooped on my couch.  Apparently, you’re supposed to take them outside to do that.  I learned the hard way.  Sigh.  While the dog was here, she landed a part in a short movie that was filmed at my apartment.  The project, called “Dog Day After Lunch,” involved two dogs, two fellas, and one felon.  The talented duo of Schwartzy N Pagana wrote a script and I jumped at the opportunity to work with them for a second time.  I first met them last year during a shoot for a GoDaddy Superbowl competition.  I’ll be posting the new film here when it’s completed.

Schwartzy N Pagana

I went miniature golfing with a close friend during a recent Earned Leave.  I wanted a change of scenery.  You know you’re hard up for travel opportunities when driving to the valley feels like an adventure, which it did.  We arrived at an odd-looking castle of sorts.  We spent more than an hour sweating under the LA summer sun and chasing little neon balls around what looked like the grounds of an aging amusement park.  I played to the best of my ability, but unfortunately it seems that the par for my athletic ability in other sports extends, rather tragically, to the putting course as well.  Final scores after 18 holes: Friend- 56.  Me- 89.  Good game.

I’m growing more and more anxious to be off of house arrest and get back to life in the Free World.  I only have three more months left.  I’m finally down to the double digits in my countdown.  It’s bizarre to think that I’ve spent well over two hundred and fifty days under home confinement.  It really does get maddening at times, being forced to spend so much time at home.  Since creating this blog, I’ve heard from quite a few people around the country who are under the same supervision.  It’s been interesting to learn what other people do to entertain themselves.  I received an e-mail from a girl who makes jewelry and tie-dies old t-shirts to pass the time.  Someone else told me that she sells old clothes on EBay and spends her days on the internet.   Another girl told me that she plays games in her apartment to keep busy.  My favorite example is when she wrote about moving every piece of furniture in her apartment into a line from one end to the other so that she could walk the length of the space over the furniture, the point of the game being that her feet would never touch the floor.  I might try that one of these days.  Why not?  God knows I’ll have plenty of time.

98 days to go.